hah yeah. there was a kid puking in the bathroom and this idiot brings in a potted plant and was like "yeah he's like, not getting enough oxygen"
she went home with me because she said i reminded her of paul rudd. remind me to thank him for his awkwardness
We should make a goal to do one active thing a day, even if its like throwing a ball
And by ball i mean playing catch. Beer pong does not count as an activity
Well we were just driving down the street, there was a realtor and a couple walking up the porch of a house for sale, mark sticks his head out, opens his mouth to say something, pukes all down the side of the car, pauses, and yells "THIS IS A PHENOMAL NEIGHBORHOOD YOURE GONNA LOVE IT"
About to fuck some random fraternity guy I met at a party. I guess this would be the right time to say I don't want to be with you anymore.
I hope this doesn't change things. I feel that me being a minor made it more exciting.
This girl just texted me asking me to drop her cheese. What the fuck for that mean?
I'm starting to think I didn't bring enough liquor for this family Christmas.
It's 2 pm....
he said "be careful" then handed me a cheezit...
I was picked up from his hotel room at 5 a.m. and came home with my panties and jäger in a McDonald's bag so the desk attendant wouldn't judge me. This is what single at 25 is about.
I've come to realize that I need a break from life when I just tried to use my address numbers as the cook time on the microwave
Where is everybody?
It's pretty much split between the strip club and jail.
What can i say, my face is nice and my body is just unreal. And my beer pouring/stealing is incredible \n
remind me again why we thought drinking hungarian moonshine was a good idea
i think i'm just going to start having sex with his brother, he's much hotter and it would definately be less illegal.
Randomize
