So why didn't Edward and the Cullens just kill Hitler?
You need to stop watching Twilight.
new hobby: convincing random sorority girls around campus that we hooked up last weekend. i'm 2 for 5.
Oh, and no balcony sex...trust me.
i just had to hear from a third party that he came inside of me
On my way to the DMV to get arrested
im standing in line right now while the 711 manager calls other locations to see if they have the john cena collectors slurpee cup in stock...yep i need to get laid
It's sad that your definition of adulthood entails banging your boss after getting hammered at happy hour, and putting the tab on the company credit card.
Im surprised putting the throwing knife "dartboard" next to the door didnt end up worse
Don't. You get on the 18 year old. I'll get on the 38 year old. Together we will bridge 2 decades of cock.
I gasped. Both pairs of lips did.
I have enough bourbon in me to put Justin's cat in the dishwasher.
You gotta start bringing a flask to work so you can get a head start
Possibly a very genius or very terrible idea...
Can you come get me? I woke up in the woods behind the Super 8. I have pizza.
i'm gonna crowd surf you onto his dick
I've never met a penis that didn't think I was awesome.
Randomize
