there are some really hot girls on the bus. i want to lips them
Ambien. No doubt about it.
Four minutes until I can fart!
We did it and he fell asleep and I was bored so I decided to go back to the party...is that bad?
i feel like his penis is a security blanet. i cant fall asleep unless its in my hand
There are too many people on this bus for it to be even REMOTELY okay that I'm wearing a puke covered sweater
Im gonna need you to always be ready for drinking or this will never work. grow up peter pan.
traded hat for shot of whiskey. lovah yo life. only ADVENTURE NOW. OH GOD IT WENT TO CAPS LOCK
I'm sitting outside your room listening for sex noises eating pepperoni...slowly
You need Xanax blowdarts
Good news: you're over the drunk crying life phase. Bad news: now you're handy and violent. You were groping me from behind in front of the guy you like, then you put me in a headlock and swept the leg.
I'm studying. And by studying I mean I am laying on my floor drinking boones farm alone. Last two weeks. Fuck it.
Having sex with him is like eating mayo. Don't think about it, just do it. It's worth it.
The girl at the liquor store remembered me as "the girl who pays in hundreds" so she didn't ID me
My face is going numb. I think it's time I call it quits
Randomize
