she wants me to text her or call her all the time when we are apart...this is not high school...
"Take a picture of me motorboating molly" was probably not my best career move
If theres one good thing that came out of our relationship its this chicken recipe. And squirting.
this cock blocking thing really has to end bro...its one thing to tell jen i live with my mom.. its another to cut the brakes on my car..
Close. The correct answer is shitting in a public toilet. We also would have accepted the pit of despair.
The guy I fucked in San Diego is camping with us for coachella... Awk.
Its okay, i dont mind you drinking, im just surrounded by it, there is some random dude laying on your couch with a bucket that ive never seen before
I'm basically a mama hen. I keep them warm and let them wonder around the house. not to mention, I keep eye on them just in case the falcons around the house try to snatch them away.
I don't even know what to say right now
Wake up. We're going shopping for booze and samurai swords.
Marshall is naming all the elements of my face. I love science nerds.
And I told him that even though were not together, if he has sex with anyone I would have sex with someone else, video tape it and send it to him.
All I'm saying is this is the exact reason I should not be left unsupervised.
I brought those bastards cookies so they can deal with my sex noise, fuck them and their roommate asses
Found out that I went to the same elementary school as the guy I'm hooking up with. Kosher or no
it will be a surprise...all I can say is stripper clown.
Randomize
