For the whole 7 seconds I lasted, I was in heaven.
He's a fan of Alicia Keys on Facebook. It doesn't NEED to say 'interested in men'.
Apparently I'm the guy that didn't get the memo that Afliction and wifebeaters were the proper attire for tonight... so I'll just sit here alone in my sweatervest and be judged.
I asked about his 3 inch scar on his chest. It's from when he had to castrate a bull on the estancia. Apparently this is how good bull meat is made.
No. one of us needs a degree and I am already the alcoholic friend. I can't do everything
So the stripper who poured a beer on my head also gives great head. Even she doesn't know why she went home with me. No more mystery shot challenges.
You stuck your entire fist into a full jar of peanut butter and starting assaulting people
how did operation slutty penguin go?
pretty epic. there was a guy who was also dressed as a penguin. i asked him if he would keep my eggs warm while i went fishing for the winter
Whatever she smells like compost and feathers.
I believe they call that patchouli.
He wouldn't let me leave his house until he made me orgasm once for every year I've been alive. The birthday sex song did not prepare me for this.
ALMOST WRECKED MY SCOOTER. DAVE FRANCO HAS A TWIN AMD HE GOES HERE
I'm going to avoid eye contact because my old high school English teacher is not who I feel like seeing after I just had a dick in my mouth
mid-october of freshman year. goals have shifted from "no more guys on my floor" to "all the guys on my floor."
Right in the middle of our simultaneous orgasms, he shouted "HAPPY NEW YEAR" ruining the intimacy
NO NINJA FIGHTING AT THE GAS STATION
Randomize
