She's like the female version of the Momento guy. She keeps forgetting that I'm an asshole after we have sex.
but the lizard people decide everything anyway
pretty sure mid blowjob I told him I needed to call you and ask you if this was whore-ish. He hid my phone from me.
After she came with my hands around her neck, she sat there for a minute and gave me the scuba diving sign for a-ok.
Then you screamed "fuck her like shes not your sister tonight" at the people walking down the road.
We woke up, fucked twice, she drank 3 warm heinekins to cure her hangover and said "Im glad you're still hott when im sober"
Is it possible to have pulled a muscle in my neck from passing out with my head in a bucket?
In anticipation of No Judgement Tuesday, I believe a Can We LOL At What We Did Last Night Saturday is in order
Woke up today to the sound of church bells. My first thought was shit the apocalypse, but then I remembered my hook up lives next to a church. This might be a rough day.
Just bartered a McD's cheeseburger and fries for two pitchers. Oregon Trail ain't got shit on me.
Don't think anyone else in the building has a lunchbox full of yay
Hey there's a sandwich in there too!
Jill you already won the game by finding a dude who will fuck you in flamingo knee socks. Theres no hope for the rest of us
You also once spent an entire hour explaining the origin of the strip steak to me.
The assignment was about the Industrial Revolution so I just screamed at them in a British accent all day. No, they didn't know I was hungover.
Ya that dick wasn't worth burning a perfectly good pizza.
You live and learn.
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