Im glad youre not pregnant with that New Jersey assholes baby. Your vagina would have smelled worse than Newark.
Kinda felt bad though cuz she whimpered and shuttered a lot, i felt like i was kicking a puppy, only the puppy liked it and came a bunch
my life is one jail cell away from being a bad country music song.
But like now everytime I pee I just think... wow I had sex with him on this toilet.
You can't just send the picture of my vagina back to me, 2 months after we broke up, and make small talk out of it.
She was shaking her boobs and I was so high all I could think was "breast maracas"
I'm skyping with my parents and reading Cosmo articles on giving great head. I'm on a roller coaster that only goes up, baby.
I just explained it as we hate everyone in the world more then we hate each other. Thus making us friends. Plus we drink...a lot
I think drinking is the foundation of our friendship
I found a body half wedged into my bedroom wall this morning. How do I explain THIS to the carpenters?
Currently playing beer pong versus the girl i lost my virginity to.....and her mom
Dude, you're only mentioning the Bro Code so I can't get any
He pulled a bucket of fried chicken out of his backpack as a peace offering. Under the chicken was a rainbow bag of weed. We're dating again.
hitting rock bottom is getting taziki in your hair & simply putting it in a bun instead of actually dealing with it, just like your problems
this is the fourth time i've taken my clothes off for money this year. is that normal for the average college sophomore?
Stop trying to mix nacho cheese and sex. Guys don’t want hot cheese near their junk. Pick a better fetish
Randomize
