hooking up with chicks might be the way to go after all. walk of shame looks better in her clothes.
Proposition. Sex. No words, no talking about it later. I just want you tonight.
so hey instead of everyone buying me a birthday present can everyone just pitch in for my abortion?
I'm about to tackle a 10 year old off a sea doo
Well, I looked over and you and him were each making out with a fireman. And then you switched. And you probably spent an hour like that.
This hot topless Jamaican just ran down the st with me on his back and He was screaming "I be stealing yo white ladies."
I don't know if i should be jealous or worried... or question where you are.
private study room at the lib turned into byob study room. that turned into battle royale and eric impaling his leg on a pen.
I defriended her. I just can't support someone whose profile picture is of their water birth.
HOLY FUCK I JUST GOT WOKEN UP BY THUNDER!!!!!
I THINK I SHARTED
You cannot meet up with him at the tailgate, his parents are there. What are you going to say "Hi I'm the one who fucks your son, can I get a cheeseburger?"
So. Somehow managed to fuck my contacts out of my eyes. Didn't know that was even possible.
Come to this bar
But I'm full of food.
MAKE ME FULL OF YOUR DICK
Ive never seen a drunk man get suplexed before last week, now its the standard requirement every time we go out.
Don't do it. It's 9 am on a Monday morning and I'm hungover. I can't deal with tears right now.
HE CALLED HIMSELF HOT BAR GUY.
If I remember correctly he wasn’t
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