If she didn't want me to pass out in her bathroom, then she shouldn't have such a furry rug in there
My Yahoo Answers account was suspended. Apparently I answered "I like chicks who do anal" to over 100 questions last night.
i think a pirate just stole the rest of our fucking beer. what an appropriate costume.
Thanks for stopping me from doing a one man keg stand by myself clad in only a towel. that probably wouldve ended badly.
We're not too concerned with getting her out of jail. We're on a mission for donuts.
But I always wanted my obit to read "Died violently in casino orgy," not "Never woke up from rectal surgery."
I'll report later on the progress of the mountain orgy
Ok, it's starting to sound like someone's out there trying to learn to play the trombone while breaking kitchenware.
Yes. We drank 3/4 of a handle of vodka, fried and ate a 3lb package of bacon, I tackled the neighbors snowman, made snow angels in our underwear, and then fucked all night. Christmas success.
i have my bailey's and coffee which lasts me until lunch, at which time its appropriate for me to bring a vodka and OJ mix for the afternoon. This university thing is grrreat
I'm cooling my balls with a beer because I'm too cheap to turn on the AC
I was so close to going to get my nipples pierced with my mom today
We need some Captain and Fanta. That shit will change your life. Sidenote, bring an IV drip to hook me to in the morning
That guy I hooked up with in new york last 2 statuses are "I'm going to be a father, it's a girl" then "wow syphilis sure does burn" I'm legit scared... What has my life come to.
I told my mom Jesus would want me to snort drugs on his birthday
Randomize
