He looks like Jesus, if Jesus had let himself go.
All she gave me for breakfast was raw toast. How can she expect me to eat raw toast?
You mean bread?
It makes me feel uncomfortable and unsafe when he licks my pants
Real housewives of new joisy starts MONDAY. Skype session after? Virtual slap the bag?
He said I taste like butterscotch, licked me, then I'm pretty sure he wet his pants. So no, I do not want to invite him over.
So I told her I dislocated my shoulder and she said "well okay. I can either be on top or blow you."
Decisions, decisions.
Sorry I never showed up last night. It was between spending time with you and our freinds or having violent multiple orgasims. I chose the low road.
What's great about college is that i can eat chocolate cereal for every meal and call it a money saving technique.
just saw a guy snowshoeing to the liqour store
was it you?
...yes
Between the puerto rican elf, the fat marine, the deaf guy and the ex coke head I've got a good preview if the men in this city...
Idk dude but he said something bout his "dick was gonna be so tan" then he jus jumped out of the car
You're like Jane Goodall in a forest of gay men. Someday your autobiography will be called "Bottoms in the Mist".
Maybe why that's why I'm perpetually single... I can't find a guy with bigger balls than mine.
We have had more Sex in the past 48 hours then we have in the past 3 months. I think it was from me dressing up as Darth Vader.
I would accept a super bowl ring as an engagement ring
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