My bottle opener just broke off in the cork
They don't teach how to cope w these situations in boy scouts
I totally just used John Mayer's lyrics to get laid.
well there was some sort of sex marathon going on in my house last night..jess and i vs my parents...and im ashamed to say that we lost and my parents out-sexed us
Lady came into work yesterday. Full on stache and beard. I've never concentrated on making eye contact harder in my life.
a guy tried paying for lapdances with cds, who uses those anymore?
I Apparently saved a picture of the Eiffel tower in between 2 pics of his dick. It appears to be the same size. I fucking love Paris.
Tidal wave of highness just hit. Find shelter and catnip. gloves. zebra striped car washes.
Its Nebraska, I'm sure im not the first person to wake up hungover in a corn field.
I see your smile in the face of every drunk that senses he's about to slay a troll.
So what's going on?
We hit boys town to get stupid. I mean invading Iraq stupid.
Do you have a moment to talk about our lord and savior, Kendra's boobs?
I know. In fairness he did tell me to throw up out his window onto his roof so I don't think he's pissed at me but I'm still mortified by the whole situation.
This chick just walked by and pet my beard. Don't know, never talked to her. She just walked by and pet my beard.
Marry her
just put a ruler in a cup trying to measure how much ivve had to drink..... God help me
Is it weird that I was turned on when he told me he had a vasectomy?
I knew you two would hit it off
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