And now his mom knows I was dipping my pen in company ink
ive never been so in love with another man before, in a totally none sexual way... no homo
dude chill. it wont be anything like your seventh grade birthday party.
we were taking shots of hot tequila, which is even worse than it sounds
my bed looks and feels like i need to buy plan b.
She wouldn't stop saying her own name. Like a damn pokemon.
I introduced him to the male G-Spot. Don't ever tell me I'm not experienced.
just went to my meeting with last nights make up still on, not wearing a bra, and the 14 shot tallies still on my wrist.. My advisor's questions should be answered as to why I'm not in my major yet.
I drove your lawn mower home. Hope you don't need it tonight. I'll bring it over tomorrow.
My roommate just walked in on him eating me out ..happy finals week right?
If it makes you feel any better they literally are drinking alcohol out of a toilet. They are serving drinks out of a nasty ass toilet...!
I made out with a guy dressed as the pdx airport carpet.
Portlandia didn't prepare you for that?
I serenaded the cat in the hat for a few 90s songs but idk who he is
This is not a test of the emergency warning system. He has broken my vagina. I repeat he has broken my vagina. Damn it was good.
His bedroom is the preferred destination of MILFs, cougars, recent divorcees and sexually frustrated wives
His penis is my hero
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