have you ever noticed that homeless people never have acne. suck it proactive
I just set a weed brownie on fire in the microwave.
Successful day.
So you know how craigslist used to have an "erotica" section? And how after you click on a link it changes a darker color? And how Dad stays up really late most nights?
Oh god... well at least he's gettin some. Mom's a prude.
finally stumbled home. 4am. made it to the bathroom and threw up. the cat came in,s aw me, looked at the vom in disgust, and then threw up too. its nice to have such sympathetic pets.
I went to grab his drink and my hand grazed his dick. It was magical.
it's a simple rule - pass out shirtless on the couch, become an airsoft target.
It's basically the same plan, only step one gets revised to "look hot enough that he forgets I fucked his roommate"
Last night you snap chatted some chick a pic of bottle service with the caption "send tits"
I have 35 pounds of pennies. Need any?
I'm a grown ass woman. Treat me like one. Fuckboy
Went and sat in the wrong fucking class for 30 mins, answering questions and shit. What ever this is i will be on it for the rest of the semester.
Idk I saw a cheetah print onesie and it reminded me of your Lion King fantasy.
Dude, A DAMN CHEESEBURGER HIT ME IN THE FACE!!! WTF was i suppoused to do!?.
I accidentally just texted my dad asking if he wants to do shrooms with me. Do I leave the city now or...
I mean the power was out what was I supposed to do
Randomize
