I think your x's eyes are broken his new girl is so hit
As it would turn out, "jesusssssss" is not the password to enter Faith Chapel's wifi network.
I hope he's okay, but I also hope he shows up with an eyepatch
New rule : you aren't allowed anything . Ever .
We talked him into tasing himself.
He asked me out while I'm back in town. I have to acknowledge and honor his persistence.
Your vagina must be laced with cocaine...
This should be a warning to men everywhere: do not send pictures of your erect penis to women you hardly know - they will add cats and send them to all of their friends.
A lot of things don't look good... It doesn't look good for a lifeguard to be smoking a cig and drinking from a conspicuous cup... But hey I'm doin it
sorry for laughing and taking pictures while you were having an asthma attack on st. patricks day
Typing up notes at the bar and doing shots with the bartender until close on a Wednesday. This is what my second year of law school has become.
The homeless guy who goes through my garbage cans just gave me a flyer for an AA group.
I'm only wearing socks and eating tuna, don't do this to me right now.
They kept freaking out that you were missing and potentially having sex.. like it was a bad thing. Got fed up with hearing it so i just yelled "ITS HER BIRTHDAY AND SHE CAN FUCK IF SHE WANTS TO!" They gave me unnecessary looks. I thought it was acceptable.
I don't know if I'm dying or this is just a mild inconvenience
He cut off part of his middle finger playing the knife game while singing The Knife Game Song at the top of his lungs. He also scream like a girl when his finger hit the floor and he realized he fucked up.
Randomize
