When we made out her lip\nose ring fell out in my mouth. Awkward?
took shots out of a medicine cup. i can get used to college.
I am so getting Plan B when we get home. Not getting knocked up by a dude with a hair piece.
just got a girls number while on a 5 am adderall cig break this is college at its finest
She came home wasted 'not wantin to talk about it' so for revenge I woke her up with a dutch oven and she puked all over me and the bed. I can't win.
Dude I told you 22 year olds shouldn't get married
That poor kid, I literally invited myself over and took advantage of him.
yea I'm sure he was really upset some drunk girl showed up to fuck him.
Do you have to put it that way?
he has a knack for choosing the worst time to masturbate
Totally sleeping on a bloodstained mattress tonight. I love life's little adventures.
He ordered three small pizzas while I was giving him head.
I'm at a new rock bottom. Malibu on ice at work because it's the only thing they've got and no mixers.
I knew deleting his texts was a bad idea and I was right. I just used the last time we talked to help me figure out when I had my last period
Great, now even dream!me is a drunken borderline mess.
my roommates gone so i can take codeine and sleep naked
my favorite part was when you kept waving @ that guy and insisiting it was your cousin..and it wasnt and wondering why he wasnt waving back lol you were legit PISSED
You peed on a flamingo?!?
Randomize
