no, he came in my armpit
everyday i am more and more thankful i can still check the no box for "have you ever been convicted of a felony?" on applications
There's an Captain Planet marathon because of Earth Day. I can't NOT turn this into a drinking game.
I'm drinking bacardi out of her mom's eco-green starbucks mug and chasing it with her sister's "for track only" vitamin water. Hello suburbia
I just bought condoms at Big Lots. please save this text so you can laugh at me in 9 months
He just showed me a video of his erect penis moving to the beet of the music when he was high, I think I'm in love.
She said just put your tongue in there and don't linger. I have other things to do.
How frowned upon is it to take your vibrator into the tanning bed...because Operation: dripping wet is in full swing and I have a busy schedule
I'm not sure... But I think I just found a porno I starred in during my black out week of '08.
My roommate fed me my birth control pill while I was hungover laying on the couch so that's how my morning has been
You're such a good friend. You send me pictures of your boobs when I'm sad. I will always appreciate that.
I really don't want to get drunk alone tonight. Like, I'll do it, but I won't enjoy it.
i got home safe but then alex started a fire so now we're at the hospital
1. Everyone on the 1st and 3rd floor heard you. 2. The 3rd floor vibrates when we have sex. 3. The 1st floor can hear the bed squeak.
I feel a blackout coming on
Plz don't have me burst into your house saying you're late for re airport to rescue you from a fat girl again
That was 2 times
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