Nothing ruins a good sext like too many emoticons
If I die I have 2 requests one a viking funeral prye and 2 I want you to take over my facebook and haunt the fuck out of everyone
that beer fried lasagna last night was sooo good
that wasnt beer fried lasagna, you just poured beer on my lasagna
literally hosing herself off in my back yard with the hose. i offered her the shower but she refused. that drunk.
Yeah he's definitely gonna feel that one when he wakes up. I beat the shit out of him with that broom handle.
Joe decreed the livingroom and the hallway up to the burn mark his kingdom. I think this is the point of 'stage an intervention'
It's official, no more fat chicks or even close to that, my balls are 2 dimentional
We are winners. And by winners I mean home wrecking sluts
Isn't that what our 20s r for?? Testing the strength of other people's shitty relationships?
I would rather get explosive diarrhea at the aquarium than go home alone tonight
Dude, Donte totally wants it. I don't have any idea how I do it. I'm not even cool. I'm not even the hero Gotham deserves. I'm barely high. My hands are swelling. Want me to pick you up anything from five guys?
Wasn't his fault he kicked a hole in the wall, they should have never tried to give him a bath after tequila.
I found her face down on the kitchen floor asking anybody who walked by for Kraft Dinner
I told the American that we should start banging in Canada incase I get hurt and have to go to the hospital.. is that rude to say?
dont know if she was trying to start a lawnmower or jerk me off. still wasnt to bad though
If he brings home bacon, dont let him leave. Dont screw this one up. this may be our last chance.
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