dude, i look like john mccains neck right now
I woke up at 7am naked in my bathtub with the shower running. My apartment was so full of steam that my ceiling was dripping. Who thought it would be okay for me to get my own place, anyway?
I almost got runover on the sidewalk by a car but wen it got closer it was a crackhead walking with the whole front of a car... bumper, lights and all... I love New York.
I'm not saying I want a booty call. I just want what Cory and Topanga had.
Intervention is following me on twitter.
wow.
I am still STD free so as far as I am concerned I never went to panama.
He says he won't get serious until he screws an Asian and a virgin. I should just place an ad on Craig's List
Wanted: female 18-24 of Asian or partial Asian descent to fuck my ginger boyfriend. Must be willing and able to fake virginity. No emotional connection needed, just sex, just once. Further contact post sex not needed (or particularly desired)
Guys, Black Friday does not exist in the world of dealing. Stop texting me asking what my deals are.
How are you getting in?
I know some influential drag queens
I feel like it could help stop wars and begin world peace and the continents can unite for one Monday because chicken fries come back today
well I didn't shave for the hot dilf I banged last week so I'm sure as hell not shaving for you. Sry
Last nights hook up turn into a star wars history lesson.. He's luck y he's pretty..
I just wanna know if were done hooking up so I know of that condom he left in my top drawer is fair game
So, I found your eyebrow, someone glued it in between my eyebrows so I looked like I had a unibrow when I went to work...
we're tipping the strippers with chocolate coins.
Randomize
