Picture the opening band right now: euro, beer guts, one member in oversized hipster lumberjack apparel, the other in childsized american apparel and shorts. Singing in german.
The karaoke bar doesnt have electric avenue. Ill just have to pick another song and sing the lyrics to electric avenue
I mean, it really isn't YOUR car until you have sex in it.
dude we were making out and she kept singing the americas next top model song. you wanna be on top?
i can tell by the sound of your bed that he isnt that good at sex.
Yes, I am watching The Hills Have Thighs. And yes it is a porno remake of The Hills Have Eyes. And, again, yes, lesbian sex in the desert. Get the sand out.
I'm going to fuck my way out of the friend zone if its the last thing I do
She said to bring taco sauce. Hoping that's a euphemism.
If you hear screaming in the middle of the night, bat got loose. Call poison control immediately and explain rabies
You had salsa out and brought a banana on a plate to bed
So if I tell her fire is hot and it will burn her... she's probably just going to keep throwing her vagina at it huh?
He came over and said its legs day so put them in the air! Fucked me for 30 minutes and said he had dinner reservations to go to. Well i just ran into him and his friends hammered at Taco Bell
Also. When I die, I'm gonna have them put me in the casket naked and then have an open casket funeral. That will be my last chance to make people uncomfortable.
I just spent a solid 3 minutes trying to figure out how to send a smell through my phone
fuck you and your stupid hot as hell face
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