I just got back to Nicks and I shoul dnot have drank this much when I have to work at 7AM!!!!!
You guys seriously fuck to bieber? That's embarrassing...
she tried giving me head in the pool. it was more entertaining than pleasurable
I really can't get over how proud I am of all us getting laid at the same time in the same apartment
Say something like you want him to fuck you behind a McDonald's. Guys secretly love weird shit like that.
Went home drunk last night and peed on my Christmas tree, my mothers going to fucking kill me
Of course drinkings involved. They don't call it alcoholism because we eat too many skittles.
Accidentally gagged on my toothbrush and puked up a Walgreen's cheeseburger. 1) I am not going to be on top of my game tonight. 2) Since when do I have a gag reflex? 3) Walgreen's cheeseburgers are awesome.
He came up to me looked at my tits said they were huge, rated them a 7 and then asked if girls really do masterbate. To make it better, he put his hand up to my face and said his penis is longer than my face...
He said he would pay my bar tab if he couldn't answer my question. He lost to the age old question of our youth. Why did pogs go out of style.
bro i dont care how hot she was, you try keeping it up with the amount of puppet he had in her room, it was like fucking in jeff dunham's house
Well I don't think you can suck his dick while he's making pizza. I think that goes against some health codes.
I'M SO LONELY THAT I TEXTED THE FRESHMAN
Not great. "Leave the toilet seat down, it gives me somewhere to rest my face."
She super glued his penis to his testicles. And shaved off a good portion of his hair after he passed out at the party.
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