She was not exactly lady-like. Down there.
after you took your Demerol you started flying around and talking like the robot ship on the movie Stealth. then you licked my iPhone and declared the mission a success.
my mom just asked me why she found a half-eaten burrito in the hamper
He managed to get his pants on, so the cop just sat there facing us with his lights shining in the car. I made shadow puppets.
Sorry I didn't text you for coffee this morning...bad life decision Saturday sorta rolled into Monday...
your drunk ass trust falled a guy double fisting bud limes and as a result your head bounced off the patio table. So that might explain the stitches on the back of your head.
Mom said you looked used
I got so drunk at the hockey game I bought everyone behind me in concession line a funnel cake.
Reminding you of hookups your brain is trying to suppress. That's what friends are fooooooooor...
He literally stole all the change that was on my floor and ran away while I was peeing. I have to rethink my standards.
I DID NOT GO INTO HOURS OF STRENUOUS LABOR FOR YOU TO LOOK LIKE A DOMINATRIX BARMAID ON A WEEKDAY. AT LEAST SAVE IT FOR THE WEEKEND GDI.
The sun is out, the birds are chirping, I made some brownies, I'm not pregnant
This is literally what my 13-year old cousin said to me this morning.
I don't know man. She said my cock made her promises my heart couldn't fulfill.
I someohow managed to lose my butt plug in tne midst of moving to B.C. and I am not a happy camper.
Do it break your family into faction start a civil war
Randomize
