I will give you vagina for bag of have'a corn chips.
I just ate a whole bag of celery instead of getting up to get a glass of water. That high.
Only she could turn her genital wart appointment into a date night.
Recently successful and happy relationships are at an all time high now that you are no longer fucking so many peoples girlfriends. You alone have changed the mating patterns in the lower half of our county.
You need to stop relating my life to your schoolwork. But tell my girlfriend that she'd be proud.
He stopped in the middle of us having sex and asked "is today Monday?" then went even faster
She was kinda cute. So long as you don't mind neck tattoos and bad life choices.
dude when im high using logic is an accomplishment that should be rewarded. make sure u get cinnamon twists
I feel so much better about my break up knowing that he's having his 26th birthday at Rollar kingdom\n
I think there's an ice cream truck out back, but there's no way I can get pants on in time to catch it
I was afraid she wouldn't be able keep up but I woke up in a bathtub, she called me a pussy and made me pancakes.
She's like the Jonah Hill of sorority sisters.
I'm actually kinda upset that we didn't consider velcro-ing detachable capes to our clothes before this moment.
He's gonna do me a solid for doing her a solid. It's like pay it foward. But with sex.
It took him 15 minutes to put the condom on.
At some point i am going to say to you "i have this really bad idea! You in? " just go with it.
Randomize
