is it true you fucked a yoga instructor last night??! ..and let me know if you want me to post that question on your facebook so kelly can see how happy you are without her
He looks like Spencer from the game Dreamphone
I kind of wish I was already fat. So I could eat all I want and not worry about getting fat. Cause I'd already be at that point.
I drank gravy. I actually drank gravy. This is heaven.
don't worry dude, we didn't fuck on your bed out of respect for you
couldn't find a condom?
basically
It's like being the dunk pilot of a plane full of pornstars and drunkenness.
Apparently she came home completely covered in mud, pretending to be a bird...and she still had more sex than any of us this weekend.
Good point, clearly my love of penis contributed to my torn knee ligament.
Just put your hair in a bun. We're going out to drink, not to impress people.
thought the power was flickering out but it turns out im just blinking
You were crying because you hate wine coolers but you really wanted to prove you could finish it
I JUST HAD A FLASH MEMORY OF DOING A SHOT OF WHISKEY WITH MY BEER YOU WERE SUPPOSED TO PUNCH ME IN THE FACE TO PREVENT THAT FROM HAPPENING.
If making out with three guys at once at a Kesha concert while simultaneously smearing glitter all over yourself doesn't convince her you're gay, nothing will
That's so awful of me. Instead of comforting her I masturbated in front of my ex-boyfriend.
How proud should I be that I googled "dildo with wheels" and actually got the result I wanted?
Randomize
