She got kicked off the plane and spent the last four hours in a holding cell with the feds.
but she's really nice
no one should ever give us hovercrafts
So I'm at planned parenthood and there are 5 people here from Friday's party.
She vajazzled her vag. It was as useless as putting earrings on chewbacca
JAMES WASHOMGTON STATE ATTACKED US
WE'RE FYCKED UL HARDCORW
THE REISLING ATRACEX US
Okay, who took a picture of their pubes shaved into a dragon on my phone and made it the background?!
He makes me want to shower. It must be love.
we were the definition of too high: argued for 10 minutes about who was gonna get the condom (it was 2 feet away on the night stand) and past out watching adventure time.
You gotta hand it to him. 6 hours in a new town and he's already fuck someone, had his ass kick by her bf, and rounded up a posse of people to kick this guys ass.
You need to be full form and virile tomorrow so I can live vicariously through your rub and tug.
She walks around topless and loves making sandwiches. That's how a one-night stand turned intoa relationship
I'm six Popsicles away from an existential breakdown.
Well I'm glad your Saturday night went a lot better than mine. I spent mine crying in a McDonald's parking lot.
I might need to come puke in your toliet on the way home
Highlight your past hook-ups. You've been stabbed, shot at, run over, and chased down the road...no you can't bring new bar bitch over here!
Dude she has a friend!!!!
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