i find it simply astounding you spelled drunken wrong but pterodactyl right
just fucked my old babysitter, gotta love block parties
I cleared a drunken path to my bed for you. If you hit clothes you've gone too far.
I inspected his penis with a mini flashlight to check for visible stds...he was clean
and then she started to quack like a duck and u started throwing bread at her
I feel like I've been hit by a truck, flew up and landed on a fence post that went straight through my vagina. No more vodka and sex for a while.
I just found a video of you asking to be a whale with me.
Waking up to find your mom holding your birth control pills and telling you I suggest you take this
It's a fucking menopause festival down here at the strike zone
we all thought you were asleep. he found you an hour later sitting outside in the snow lighting a bowl, singing the CatDog theme song, and hugging a box a Franzia.
A check for $9 that I used to buy six boxes of Girl Scout cookies bounced. I think I've hit a new low.
No biggie, just trying to keep my liver function in the green
I'm going to the store to get corona, salad, and blunt wraps...
Did a 4 pm walk of GLORY the next day.
Do you realize our room single-handedly hooked up with most of that wedding party last night?
Randomize
