I want the hot one, scratch that. anyone.
So he says "lean over this" which is a chain across the doorway, held into the wall with bolts. I do. Then he puts his weight on top of me to try and get it in.
It breaks. We fall.
I now have a broken nose, a concussion, and an infected, split lip. Why do I have the worst luck in guys?
Black thong, sheer white shorts not a professional look. This chick has no idea what sunlight makes her outfit look like.
Whats the glycemic index on semen?
It's like she bought one bad life decision and got one free
Do you ever go through someone elses pictures and just appreciate the fact that youre not really friends with them?
my co-worker, his best friend who also works with us, an my baby daddy, ive turned love triangle into a retarded shape with to many sides to pronounce
i just declared my major based on how close the department building was to our apartment. laziness has been brought to a new level
i feel like this needs to be a 'lose some teeth' kind of weekend.
Last thing I remember is Dusty riding the bikes we "borrowed" from the hotel through the CVS while the rest of us picked up the girls who were laughing at him
Fair warning: I will be throwing corn dogs at you every time I see you this week.
I know it's just really hard to give up sex and cigs during a blizzard
He fired me, I fucked his wife, we're even I think...
What started out as a one night stand ended in him texting me the next day, saying he thought he was gay.
Why is there a condom in my ukulele?
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