Eating a burrito bowl w/ queso sauce is about as cool as the first time you have sex w/ out a condom
I walked out of the bathroom and both of you girls were giving the gay guy head. I was like, "laaaterrr."
after drinking 6 jumbo margaritas he then proceeded to tell the entire restaurant that he was going to "bust a load in me" when we got home....how do you think the rest of my night went?
Ive never seen someone more dtf than a soaking wet drunk girl who stumbles into your backyard.
I just peed in a flower pot on the veranda while crying and holding a drink
I walked into the kitchen and twelve of them were just staring at the oven. Freshmen are the weirdest drunks ever.
I was having trouble getting it up so she grabbed it and said "no, it's too big to fail"
Just played slippy cup. Flip cup plus slip n slide. What did you do with your fourth of july?
No, this place just freaks me out. Like I feel like ill get pregnant just being here. And all those pregnant bellies. It's weird.
I think I used my NERF gun during sexual roleplay. Need to re-evaluate my life choices.
and then at some point during the night I ended up holding a baby
Why was a baby at a karaoke bar, and were you wasted?
only slightly. thats not the point. it was a cute baby.
Well someone is clearly not winning the parent of the year award here
I feel like if he almost got me pregnant once, i can at least say hi in a bar
future reference: when you get a text that says "WARNING: EXPLICIT PHOTOS BEING DELIVERED. VIEWERS DISCRETION IS ADVISED." you always open the attached picture.
I knew I was in for a long night after I filled the empty pinata carcass with beer, bit off the top of one of it's legs and used it as a beer bong.
So learned a new trick last night.... Taking body shots from my own tits... Mom would be so proud
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