Come on the kid is gayer than me
Like the straightest thing he could do right now is take it up the butt
Drinking bud light and eating rice cakes...this is the closest to getting in shape for spring break as its going to get.
my mom found all the used condoms in my bed side table
whatd she say to you?
no words- put them all in a circle, put the bible in the middle
So just to get a feel for things...how prone are you to male Amish strippers...
I'm calling into work with a wicked case of sledge hammer crotch. She has to understand
Something's wrong. Everything's on fire. Unless it was like that before. Then everything's alright.
Since when do you have sex with people you have feelings for?
Dude you don't understand. I genuinely felt his soul's penis in my soul's vagina.
just gonna show up naked this time. that way i dont have to worry about finding my clothes tomorrow
Ok spinning in the opposite direction thatg the room was spinning was the worst advice ever
I am descending into that finals week rage fueled by ramen, mountain dew and bad sex is what's up.
As much as my throat was opened up this weekend, you'd think I wouldn't nearly choke on a damn almond.
Just don't have sex while watching Home Alone. It will ruin Christmas for you.
Scientific fact: if he makes a face like a demonic dog when he's fucking you, makes it easier to fuck without feelings.
Uber driver has left leg up on the dash and turn signal on for about a mile, there's Chipotle wrappers on the floor, but she's hot. 5 stars.
NOT PREGNANT according to the two dollar tree pregnancy tests I took in the tacobell bathroom. Come meet me at tacobell for celebratory soft tacos.
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