yesterday i saw a blind man guiding himself into a NYC tour bus... and i thought i waste money
i just walked into thanksgiving and three people in a row asked me who i was. really?
tonight i'm making a christmas tree shaped shot pyramid
a cemetary is a place for people to rest in peace and you just spermed all over their land
there really is only one way to give a PowerPoint presentation in your senior capstone class: still drunk.
Vegas is awesome. Its like you have a kentucky accent girls automatically assume you don't have herpes.
Security said no more parties of this kind. To me that translates to Theme party this weekend.
Just got blown in a rental car. I need to get rear ended more often
I'm just saying. If this how my magic vagina shows it's magic then I don't want any
he pushed me in the lake knowing full well I had joints on me. that's drug-abuse!!
I've discovered my ability to crush a man's ego is greater than my hate for beer.
Can you please help mom and dad? Theyre trying to figure out Skype, and its like 2 cavemen finding fire.
These cutoffs are too tight but my ass looks like Freedom
Sex was great. Left his house while he was asleep but on the plus side I was able to get gas station food.
Yeah. I got a Tetnus shot then partied like it was 1999.
Randomize
