I can hear the grilled cheese talking to me. "Let me in there!" they wanna get inside me
i thought i deleted your number from my phone...Wtf
It wasn't long before I skipped the martini glass and went straight to drinking from the shaker.
I'm high, and her 2,100 tagged pictures annoy me even MORE. I wish it had a google searchbar so I could type in "cleavage pics" to get to the point.
i gave her a can of corn and told her the cabs are accepting non perishable food items over the holidays. blatant lie and she lives like $40 away
Did you really just use your nipple as a unit of measurement?
You did a strip tease for the toilet.
She was really fucking loud. My neighbors definetly knew my name...
Did you make me take pictures of your ass last night because you fucked on some wet paint or did i dream that?
I almost lit my balls on fire tonight.
Neither a grow-er nor a show-er. More like a no-er. If he didn't have testicles, I'm not sure you could tell he was a male, even standing there naked. There will be no second date.
he had hair everywhere except his balls
I nicknamed her "Jackhammer" for the way she gave me a handjob. My balls were in constant pain
Doing blow in the bathroom isnt the same without you
Do a rail off the baby station in my honor
There's just something classy about smoking a blunt in a prom dress.
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