I use a guy for sex and get three minutes out of him. go figure
I just shaved my legs while pooping. classy or trashy?
talent.
My psychiatrist is "consulting" others. I am high-achieving nuts.
Dude I swear I heard "geet out!!!" when I went down on her. I shouldve listened.
I'm eating a piece of cake like an apple. At least my thought process is healthy.
She gave such good road head it was turned into side-of-the-road head for everyone's safety
If your wondering why there is a puddle on the floor is I may have decided to make a kiddie pool in your living room.
my neighbors having band practice on sunday morning is a message from the universe that I should stop drinking
Just saw a dude walk out of the parking. Garage in a diaper and tutu. He had a handle in one hand and a toy bow in the other
LOL its 11 am
Lets think Pancakes and sausages into existence
It was the easiest thing I've ever done. 3am she walked into my room, saw my Buffalo Bills blanket, said go bills and got naked.
I totally have a huge crush on him though which is fucking up my "classy she-demon with limited feelings" vibe
Beer and xanax may be a bad combo, but I don't really care due to the beer and the xanax.
So it turns out strippers do encores if enough people yell. Encore song: Self Esteem.
I'll start working on my manners when you stop using please and thank you in the bedroom.
Randomize
