he said i was weird because i want to have sex in public places.
i dont think thats weird i think thats fun
i forgot to tell you, he fell asleep outside my house again last night, but im weird
Today let's steal peoples pets out of their backyards and leave ransom notes
He broke up with me by playing Lynyrd Skynyrd "Free Bird".
I just made out with a girl with a life jacket on wtf is going on
I feel like college is just one giant drunken trip to Taco Bell
Just ran interference for her again. Sometimes i wonder how many times in my life i'll have to be a cock block at the clinic
Europeans suck. I just gave him head and somehow i am the one paying for the coffee
He made me a period mix..should I back out now?
A guy wearing a hard hat while floating the river. It's the most responsible drinking we saw all day.
This guy in a neck brace is ordering bottle service at the strip club. Not sure whether to applaud his commitment or scorn his addiction. It's a draw.
Hey, I didn't ask that stripper to put her unds in my mouth, it was just covered by the plus package fee I ordered.
I walked out of the bedroom naked holding a used condom only to be greeted by half of my family. Happy birthday mom
Multiple bruises and a hell of a headache later, I have still to find out where the fuck I picked up the bottom half of a mannequin.
Let's try finding a bar where there aren't people who want to hang me from a tree by my nutsack
would it be awkward if i bring my husband?
only if i fuck you in the bathroom while he's paying the check
Randomize
