I tried to gradually lead her into my room but she wouldn't stop crying and quoting memoirs of a geisha
he invited me to an all week drinking party at his house. apparently he knows the key to my heart is booze shaped.
You would only drink if the space jam soundtrack was playing, you thought it was hilarious that before every shot you said "y'all ready for this".
We argued about the championship during sex. Absolutely the manliest moment of my life.
The answer to your question is yes. I am wearing a star of david to the bar in order attract a jewish man.
I managed to convince him it was his fault I cheated on him...he spent the last 40 minutes going down on me. I feel legendary.
They refer to his house as "the abortion clinic". Cant wait.
It's just a matter of time. The ball is in my court. Soon to be in her mouth.
my vagina hasn't met your boyfriend yet ... makes me sad
Seriously, I woke you up with tacos, I think I deserve the best girlfriend ever award
I should not be so motivated by a penis, but I am
His name is Angel. I'm pretty sure he was sent from heaven solely to eat me out.
Hey, it's all about finding the bright side. And boobs are definitely a bright side.
Just convinced the cute guy from class that I have prostate cancer. GET ME OUT OF THIS TOWN!
Let the healthy eats/juice cleanse begin. Today is day 1
Have you cleansed yourself of the boy yet?
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