would you consider dating someone with braces an investment?
I'm at work and it's 1:30. I need a beer. is that bad?
Welcome to every minute of my life.
I blew a .224 after sleeping for 6 hrs, cleary im a champion
mid blow job she looked up and said "we aren't even facebook friends!"
They reenacted the scene from the lion king where mufasa talked to simba from the clouds. As high as they were they got it word for word. There has to be an award for that.
I woke up and he used my makeup to write "hope you don't get pregnant" on my mirror before he left
I wish we knew morse code and could knock to each other through the wall
There's a guy in a life size dick costume, and two guys with white shirts that are each half if a pair of breasts in a red bra lol. They came separate but when they saw each other there was some titty fucking in the street, it's only 11
IM SO HIGH RIGHT NOW, IM WHAT ROCKET MAN WANTED TO BE WHEN HE GREW UP. ELTON JOHN CAN BLOW ME.
Simultaneously sexting while making brunch plans. Multitasking at its gayest.
I'm not sure why, but my salad smells like a Big Mac. Or maybe that's just the smell of yesterday's, seeping through my skin.
I feel slightly un-patriotic right now... I just got cock blocked by the Air Force!
you were on a whole other level. you went home with him because he said "you got some light ass eyes"
Laying on my driveway in my pajamas in the sun having my severe hangover cigarette, and the daycare house across the street is having playtime in the yard! I believe I'm currently being what's known as a "bad example!"
Anyway, that's been my evening- crying and looking up diabetes symptoms. How was your night?
Randomize
