One of my boys faked an orgasm while fucking a girl tonite, w/ out wearing a condom mind you.
She caught him, and immediately put her clothes on and left.
I'm pretty sure I left my reasoning skills at home last night, and just brought anger and rage with me.
Oh, and no balcony sex...trust me.
I fed him jelly beans while he fingered me. Win, win situation.
i had them turn on teen mom at the bar so i wouldnt be tempted to go home and make babies with the guy next to me
In the UK. Bar special, every drink costs a pound. I'm two shots away from being deported. God save the queen.
Besides. I seriously had a dream that George W Bush came over and slapped some tabs down on my kitchen counter and said "let's get juiced.". It was a sign to not get too fucked up
We're both clumsy. What does this imply for our kids?
Helmets.
Nothing quite like walking through a spider web on your way back in from smoking to fuck up a perfectly good high.
We don't have the same problems as normal people do we?
So, got kind of drunk last night, made out with some guy, and somehow stole his credit card. Don't even know.
The only monogamous relationship I can keep is with my eyebrow lady...
IT TOOK ME LIKE AN HOUR TO DO THAT. DO YOU KNOW HOW HARD IT IS FOR ME TO CONCENTRATE ON ONE THING FOR AN ENTIRE HOUR?!
These rednecks don't fuck around. This party is completely BYOB and we now have 6 kegs, 3 of which have already been emptied.
Either im seeing the northern lightgs, someone is having a rave, or im on acid.. Im most likely on acid
Randomize
