at some point to night u and I have a 'meeting' too...(1-737): I hope so
Vegas for my brothers bachelor party. Just landed and I have a boner. I'm giggly and teary eyed I'm so excited.
I just called a phone sex line and you know what I did? I sat there and cried
I shall celebrate this moment with a beer conveniently located in the sock drawer directly to the right of me.
I'm terrified to sleep next to her. Of course the sex will be fuckng awesome.
Hold on there are flying pancakes I can't handle this right now
I'm just gonna wear a long dress with no panties today. My pussy needs a break.
I feel like the fact that I slept with someone who dresses up like Batman a few times will never be lived down.
If a handjob meant commitment I would literally touch zero dicks
Went kayaking. drunk. DID NOT FALL IN. Mission succesful.
I remember looking at his body and thinking wow you have a body sculpted by Jesus himself. Still not sure if I said that out loud or not
I was just thinking about if my bath water turned to jello and got a little freaked out
Remember when you gave their 80 year old doorman a line of molly at 5am?
You told everyone to shut up then told the officer that you are 21 when you drink.
It's okay to admit that you're into redheads.
Randomize
