You'll put your fingers inside me but you won't be my FB friend?
Everytime she opens her mouth it's like a fucking terrorist attack on my life.
my mom just informed me my dog smells like cum
He only uses me for sexual pleasure. The sad part is I don't even feel like a slut. I just I feel like I should just live in the top drawer of his nightstand....for free of course.
ps... at the end of one of the videos you yell "let's do the eiffel tower again.. i'll be in the middle!" .. i almost died lolol
you ran down to the water at 3am and rolled in the sand and ran around screaming that you were the corn dog monster.
Remember that amazing deer? You peed next to that dear..
I inspected his penis with a mini flashlight to check for visible stds...he was clean
I might be the strongest willed bouncer ever. Earlier tonight a girl flashed me trying to get in. I just replied "Sorry I'm gay", she believed me and left.
I found your dog. Now we are bros, so he is staying. Don't call, don't make it weird.
Not as much as my roommate, who is in the middle of one of the pictures throwing a lawn chair at a cop car lol.
Nope. Too much basics going on right now. I'm tying you both up and throwing you to the vibrating sexy toy sharks. You shall either sink or get off gloriously.
The Vicodin is in the strawberries.
It's like jay gatsby himself preordained that our genitals meet again.
Stay home. Ain't nothing out in these mean streets but plan b and regret
Randomize
