So it's 10:55am and I just woke up on the floor in the hallway on the4th floor. There should probably be no moredrinking competetions.
I admire a woman who can maintain dignity while puking after too much whiskey
someday when you wake up in a dumpster we'll have to have this conversation again...
One reason I feel like garbage: Kraft single wine shots
He explained how that handle got into our fridge. I think i'm going to stick with my original assumption that the vodka gods want me to drink more vodka.
He just showed me how to break a chop stick with his ass.
He always takes home straight guys. He plays One Night Stand on Ledgendary Mode
I just made SCOTCHSICLES. no further info is necessary
OMG IM A TIGER AND I LOVE ROARING
I have no idea what that means but I'm googling things just so I can watch my thumbs move
So worth it. Come over for bacon egg cheese vusquit later. 12. I slept with Jimmy? On my period? And told him he had mother issues? No tequila. Tequila bad.
Fine line between drunken accidental sleepover with your best friend's lab partner and gay sexathon. I did a cartwheel over that line. A CARTWHEEL THAT LANDED IN HIS LAP
ICE CREAM AND CAKE BITCHESSSSSS
where are my eyebrows?
tell him if he brings over dinner you might let him see your left boob...or right, whichever you prefer. But under no circumstances do you let him see both...unless he brings a good desert...like coffee ice cream or something
Randomize
