Why would I want to inherit a sex machine used by my grandma?
just because you are in college doesnt mean its okay to pregame easter mass.
Exactly how low is masturbating to your cute professor's lecture videos?
Worst hangover of my career vs the return of the blue balls. Will keep updated
Confidence margaritas not a good idea. Just said foreskin in my presentation instead of foresight.
Still borderline I believe. As bad as this sounds, I feel God owes me one here and should not let his grandmother die till after my birthday
I had a moment while I was smoking where I was looking at these palm trees and I knew how dr Seuss came up with his characters.
He brought wine and beer. I'll put my pants on for wine and beer.
I just had a fifteen minute conversation with a Raccoon by the garbage bin. I was feeding it chex mix.
hoooly shit dude in taco costume challenged alpha douche to a fight. he's got catch phrases. come. now.
This was like angel cum on the bread of life filled with the nectar of the gods
Just got a 15 minute lecture from a drag queen about how bisexuality doesn't exist. Cher would be so disappointed in her.
Weddings might be fun but they are not getting fucked in the wilderness fun.
He broke his arm in a fistfight with the bouncer. it was neat.
random boy in my bed. last night wasnt a dream. fuck.
Randomize
