doesn't matter. i just recorded the power rangers theme song on my phone. and its loud. was thinking we could use it as our entrance song as we walk into bars.
Thanks for the birthday present, i had so much fun playing with it
Are you talking about my vagina?
I woke up laying in alphagetti with the message "I'd go get checked asap" written out in the letters.
I just told my sister I love her. I'm in no condition to drive.
Questioning the dried heart shaped nutella on my boobs. Valentines day has begun.
Home safe. Psyche shattered. Still rolling. In love with the morrocan rug in the living room.
I have not carelessly put myself in herpes way since I got a clean bill of health tyvm.
im breathing rainbows and everyone is talking in bubbles whatever you gave me give me more
I told him if I was pregnant we were coming out to the people at work, because I'm not pretending to get knocked up by an imaginary boyfriend.
He tried to puke in the 14th hole and when I told him to stop he started chanting "hole in one hole in one"
Just got back from the tanning beds. I'm a lobster. I fear for the safety of my nipples falling off.
At this point I think you're just judging my taste in men
You shouldn't have to. I think you should bust into work like "pay homage to my magical vagina!"
I'm tempted to randomly yell out 'SO HOW IS YOUR UNDERAGE GIRLFRIEND' but that would be callous
If a cop comes up to me I'm whipping out my cock, swinging it around and singing the national anthem
Randomize
