Fell asleep in bio again. Sometimes i feel like college is just one really expensive nap.
Booyah. Found 8000 pesos in my closet and that's apparently 608 US dollars
This gyro tastes like lonliness
I remembered to bring wine in a nalgene bottle, but I forgot sunscreen and water. I'm starting to question my life decisions.
someone made her a trophy at 4 in the morning and presented it to her in the bathtub
Nope, I'm sticking to passive aggressive punishments. Like mismatching his socks and cumming on his leather couch. OCD is so wonderful.
And at least you didn't have a dinner of Ranch Pringles and Double Stuff Oreos. I forgot that part of being single.
The trashcan full of everclear punch caught on fire...you should probably come home now.
Yeah! I was just fired because there was an over hire and the new girl is hotter than me. Seeing as how the new girl is my baby sister I think punching my manager is excusable.
I didn't want to walk to anymore parties because I found a cat. It was magical.
I just had sex over my oven then high fived the guy. It's going to be a good year.
I went to the bar without a bra on pretty sure you can go to Taco Bell drive thru with no pants
you can't get cum all over my hair and then tell me you just want to be friends
I almost had sex at the fire station last night and I need you to acknowledge all the awesomeness that is in that sentence.
Don’t listen to me, I’m walking around wearing nothing but rave bracelets and headphones shouting “yeeeeaaahhhhhh”
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