: south campus drug res life name erik. Love, tran
Should I be offended if he asked if he could use saran wrap to eat me out?
Either he has two lazy eyes or he really likes my tits..
Spaghetti and Car Bombs, good idea or what will end up on the bar in a few minutes?
Just got laid for the first time in 3 yrs, 10 mo, 1 wk & 2 days. YESSSS.
is it bad i banged a 25yr kindergarten teacher last night?
No thats like a top 10
The effect you have on my penis from a different state is impressive
Real reason I can't work: it's Tuesday. I get stoned and watch buck Rodgers in Tuesday.
Jesus Christ you're perfect.
He tried to reenact Braveheart's freedom scream but got tackled by his drunk roommate who thought he was yelling that the handle he was holding up was free.
dude girls our age are getting married and having babies and I still can't figure out how to defrost my hotpockets
You continued to run around saying "free the nipple" while "taste testing" every liquor on the premises.
I seriously just forgot to push down the toaster twice in a row \n\nSo I've been waiting 8 minutes for toaster strudels that I haven't even started... Too high
you face planting the wall was epic
did you at least save my tooth
Do you just want me to shit in a Jack-o-latern
The high school classes are online, not my sex life. He still comes over for “teacher / parent conferences.” A couple more “conferences” and I’ll be able to rewrite the Sex Ed curriculum
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