oh and i really hope miley falls off this mountain she is climbing
my bedside table was not meant to hold this many beer bottles.
I had to do a class evaluation today & the girl beside me didn't fill in any bubbles she just wrote in huge letters RETIRE across the whole sheet
i have to go- we're throwing the dummy from the balcony again
I'm not sure if it was sex or spear fishing. He goes in for it like he's crash landing a rocket
It started out just like any other night: was watching a Zach Effron movie, drinking tequila out of a water bottle. I don't understand how this got out of hand.
Hahaha I don't remember taking it away. But no one should have a sledgehammer at a party. NO ONE.
Is re-gifting a Valentine's Day present worse than re-gifting a Xmas one?
You're unbelievable, unbelievably awesome.
he cancelled our romantic dinner reservations so we could stay home and watch a Rocky movie marathon and order pizza. i know i should be upset but i think i'm kinda in love.
So I guess I bought a cat last night. Fuuuccckkk.
He said "send me a motivational picture" so I sent one with mayo on my face that said "clearly I'm no stranger to white stuff on my face"...I'm the fuckingng worst
Homeboy just asked me to strip for him. He should not be this horny and allowed to be in Vegas with his kid.
He once bought a dildo and put fifty dollars and a happy anniversary note in the battery compartment I gotta lock him down while hes available
Is it weird that the girl I'm fucking just wished me luck on my date tonight?
The Game of Thrones convention was just a drunk fuckfest.
Please tell me you banged Jon Snow.
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