I didn't black out, the guy in the Men In Black costume erased my memory
I just single handedly caused ferngully by printing the wrong 900 page document
i would rather give Shaq a handjob than take this accounting final
just found a carrot inside of a baby sock. living with toddlers is like living with tiny hammered people.
You said "i miss him" not "i miss his dick." You're getting emotionally attatched. Shame.
im just going to wait until i dont feel like the grim reaper is having sex with me
I think throwing up in my her purse is probably why we broke up
I no longer see him as a simple set of male genitalia attached to a very sexy body. The title "trophy fuck" seems wrong. Damn.
Maybe I'll just get really drunk on valentines day and tell him I think his penis is small
I am drunk. Riding an elevator. You can smell the beer. Doctor on with me just smiling at me... He agrees, fuck cancer.
Is it related to planting your seed? Cause I don't know if you have studied the development of a tiny human, but that is some complicated shit.
Isn't everything in a man's life somehow related to him planting his seed?
she's an english major so her sexts are something i look forward to
Vodka and tater tots have managed to satisfy me more than most of the guys I've slept with.
For the sake of being nice I congratulated her and she replied with something along the lines of that I need to stay away from him and not touch him ever. I really wanted to be like "been there, done that" but my New Years resolution was to not start any cat fight over boys with small dicks before noon
You were filing your nipples with a nail file to "make them sharper"
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