i'm so high i feel like the people i'm chatting with online can some how see that i'm naked.
shes the kind of girl i dont like to talk to unless my penis is in her mouth.
My new years resolution is to be alive new years morning
Thanks for getting me home last night.
No worries. I'll always be there for you, just like Mufasa.
Drunk lesbians having an argument about their realationship isn't as hot as I imagined.....
He's hinting that I'm starting to be kicked out of their blunt rides, I can feel it.
I got a dollar bill stuffed into my bra on two separate occasions by two separate guys simply for having boobs. I feel like somewhere god is patting himself on te back while pointing at me goin "you're welcome dude." easiest two bucks I ever made.
Called my dealer in tears and we talked for an hour until I felt better. That's the way it should be.
You kept asking the bartender if you could "buy a dollar".
Woke up to a sex noise notice under my door...he gets a A+ for proformance and ill be seeing him again.
Sorry, I know you're at the airport but a gram of coke is missing so good luck with security!
Im gonna go for the gay guy. The ginger is freaking me out.
You can't give me tequila around boys who have girlfriends. That ain't new.
Also, full disclose I puked in a fruit barrel box
I must be pretty memorable. I was walking past this dude and he goes "There's the Scotch Girl." I have ZERO clue who he is, but I'm definitely the Scotch Girl.
Randomize
