He seemed more like the type to get donkey punched by a she-male hooker to me
it wasn't lemon gatorade
he was lying next to me and i saw him text "score" to someone.
but you don't have to sleep on top of four different cum stains because you'd rather buy a case of Franzia than spend $3.50 in the student laundry room
All I could think when I saw it was, "All right, Vagina, only one of us is getting out of this alive."
I slept with an Israeli and a Palestinian in the same day. It feels wrong.
The funny thing is, we kinda did bring guys home cause you had a fort...
I'm convinced that the Christmas lights in my room contributed to the great sex.
Opening beer with my teeth is getting easier the drunker I become.
It turns out my teeth are bleeding.
Why did I puke in my shower caddy last night
And then you refused to pee in anything but a sink
Like I cant decide if he's like autistic or something or just seriously cock blocks himself on purpose with this shit
I am going to go back to drinking and listneing to Hanson now. Maybe crying. Or perhaps Full House reruns
Trust me, I'm a professional lesbian.
Just beer bonged through a snorkel, add that to the list
Randomize
