for our anniversary he stepped it up a notch and bought cool whip rather than the store brand. i was impressed.
Do you have any idea how hard it is to cum to Chingy?!
He went down on me and then slapped my ass saying "thanks for the confidence boost"... is this all I'm good for?
you have a cum towel under your bed, you're the definition of single
No one understands that once a girl pours a handle of smirnoff all over herself, clearly she is wasted
She poured a bottle of rum in the champagne fountain, did like 5 jello shots at the same time, then lit herself on fire. Twice. This is how everyone should turn 21.
That's fuckin bs. I had the bouncers beat by 30 yards til that dumbshit on the moped stopped in front of me.
I took an adderall. This is weird. My eyes are really wide open and I am really good at staring. I've written on 9 peoples walls and updated my status. I am getting shit DONE!
Oh you know same old same old. just eating pizza after faking extreme night terrors to get a one night stand to leave my apartment
At least your night didn't end with three cops seeing your ass and you sitting on the ground in a wig throwing your shoes at people
Seriously? A BAR is SPONSORING my 21... What did you do for your 21 again??
Mcnellies. I'm drunk enough that you have a window. Capitalize.
I don't know anybody that can get the cops to drive them back to the bar after being pulled out of a tree
it happenes
Seeking encouragement from my tinder matches to ace this test. I've sunk to a newest low.
are you fucking roseanne barr in there?
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