He’s a liberal pot smoker and perfect for me. He invented a game where we have to smoke a joint every time you hear a Middle Eastern accent on NPR.
He was going nice and slow, then he yelled " BOONNEESTOORRMM!!!!!". I can't walk straight.
Do you know how hard it is to get cum out of a straw hat!?
You'd be proud of me. They tried to give me bread to sober up, but I told them no, im on a diet.
Could be my worst decision since the whole 'third degree burn' fiasco.
So I woke up in a strange bed with a note taped to my arm giving me directions back to my brothers apartment.
Apparently, his doctor was impressed with how well we took care of his leg. We're like the kings of naked triage.
Dude just pulled his dick out and started stroking it and making s sound like cocking a shotgun....wtf was in those e pills
Hey, I took a sweater from your house. And, um, your little brother's virginity.
My life is literally the worst. I was just laughing so hard at how hot they looked feeding each other the brownies and then I was like DON'T CRY
If they could bottle a hangover it would taste exactly like lemon lime Gatorade and failed hopes and dreams
OMG I WAS JUST THINKING ABOUT HOW OUR FRIENDSHIP IS SO REAL BECAUSE I SHOW YOU DICK PICS AND WE LAUGH TOGETHER.
It has now been 10 days since we last saw Sebastians penis
I have a bottle of rum in my pocket...what does that say about me...
You come prepared
I dont even know what happened i just remember waking up with beer cans outlining my body...
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