I an trashes at a wedding. Hotbcousins here I come. Agh.
oh God, I have a dick of a middle schooler
she handed me her phone while she blew me and told me to text her bf that she was at the store
We're doing a case race on Saturday.
I'm in. I'm currently drinking a beer in the bathtub so I guess I can consider this "practice" and not just "alcoholism"
Best part of failing a semester of college: not having to buy books next semester. I can drink to that
I am making a budget for 2012. Should condoms be in the insurance or entertainment category?
I can't believe I had to sit there pretending to play Halo with a condom on for 20 Minutes because your brother barged in to tell a story.
Strip mythology. Everyone wins. Most of all me.
Last night I was this close to hooking up with someone called "Handjob Pat" dubbed for the time he paid $150 for a handjob in Canada.
The first thing we did this morning was see if we could see her barf in the prking lot from the roof. We could. It was in 5 spaces.
Ok because I want to set a new world record for how fast I can drink away my Christmas money
It's only just- an eye for an eye, a tooth for a tooth, a nude for a nude
I puked in the back of my mom's new car because I had too much to drink at Chilis. I think I just hit rock bottom.
can you come here so we can have really loud sex? the girl upstairs walks so loud i want her to know how it feels
of course
Yeah. We had phone sex then cried together, it was beautiful and heartbreaking
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