he's a nude model. what could you have done to make him feel awkward??
I feel that the whole multiple orgasm thing is god's way of saying "sorry for the childbirth deal"
Someone just asked me to go to the dining hall for dinner and he will use one of his swipes to pay for my meal. i think this is a college version of a date
Turned in a paper today on drug abuse. Chose to write about percocet. Just realized I started 2 sentences with "This amazing drug"
I decided that just having that story under my belt and being able to tell it to my grandchildren is worth the regrets of the evening.
i wish i could tell you the night didnt begin with me drinking alone
he woke up with $200 in his pocket and had to buy his cell phone back from a hobo at the bus stop.
help me choose which girl to send myself boning to my girlfriend to make her want to break up
which one looks the most like her?
You had one beer and one beer can full of vodka and you took a huge gulp of one of them and called it Emily Roulette
I feel like it went downhill once I decided we should take $100 tequila shots.. oops lol
You know the sex was good when he had to ask which way was north before he left.
Like who needs a job and family when you can get drunk for free with strippers?
I just said "I love my cat" as a hobby.
Also I ordered a dildo and I'm not sure if I want it still, so there might be a free dildo in your future
I took it as a sign from the lord above that she wanted me to creep on these men.
Randomize
